The Three Hams

One of the joys of being part of the online ham community, is discovering short stories or meaningful messages from around the world. Today, I discovered this short story from Steven K4YZ over in Tennessee – Thanks to Steven for giving permission for this to be shared. Please read it all before judging – as there’s a moral at the end.

“THE THREE HAMS”

An Original Short Story With A Moral for Amateurs by K4YZ

THE NEW HAM, “Billy”

The New Ham, Billy, isn’t hard to pick out of a crowd. He has a K-something-four ecks-why-zee call sign and is obviously having trouble getting his own call (and everyone else’s) correct. He’s not too sure of the proper use of phonetics, and you can hear both the confusion and embarrassment get mixed in with the excitement in his (or her, as the case may be) voice as he exercises his new privileges.

He says things like “the personal here is” instead of ‘handle’, “seventy-thirds” instead of ‘seventy three’ or uses “over and out” like Broderick Crawford did on episodes of “Highway Patrol”. He can frequently be heard on the local repeater, seemingly ‘always’. But he’s in there trying, and considering the number of other distractions that we have in our ‘modern’ times, we should appreciate the fact that HE chose to associate with us. That’s no small testimony of trust and faith in these times. He’s excited about his newfound involvement in this hobby and all there is to learn, and sometimes it’s overwhelming.

He doesn’t always get everything just right yet, but then he hasn’t had the ‘years of experience’ that OLD HAMS and WISE HAMS have had a chance to, but his time will come.

THE OLD HAM, “Dick”

The Old Ham, Dick, isn’t hard to pick out of a crowd either. He’s been a Ham since “Way-Back”, and by golly he lets everyone know about it. He did everything first or did it better, and by virtue of that, he knows everything and lets everyone know that, too. His wall is plastered with faded QSL cards from DX-peditions long forgotten and certificates for well-known awards that he accumulated over the years, but he’ll be danged if he’ll pass on any words of encouragement or tips to “The New Ham” on how to get his own. He was once a New Ham, too, but for some reason, he’s forgotten what it’s like to be one.

The ‘Old Ham’ likes things ‘just the way they are’, and anything that interferes with the status quo is subject to swift and humiliating retribution, and it’s just too bad if anyone’s feelings get hurt in the process. Anyone who obtains an Amateur Radio license, according to the ‘Old Ham’, should know exactly how to be an expert operator from ‘day one’, otherwise they should stay off the air. The ‘Old Ham’ has always been an expert, so everyone else should be too. If the ‘Old Ham’ had his way, the local repeater would stay silent twenty-four/seven, save for the high-speed CW ID’er, rather than pick up mic and talk to the ‘New Ham’.

The ‘Old Ham’ has forgotten that “Do Unto Others As You’d Have Them Do Unto You” applies as equally to Amateurs as it does in any other walk of life, but he could care less. He got his, and that’s all that matters.

THE WISE HAM, “Elmer”

The ‘Wise Ham’ is as easy to pick out in a crowd as the others, but for entirely different reasons. Elmer accumulated all of the experiences of the Old Ham, but he’s kept the enthusiasm of the New Ham and tempered it with the mentoring of others, the passage of time, and practical experiences acquired over the years. He realizes that not everyone has had all of his opportunities just yet and knows those opportunities will come in their own time. Elmer also knows that the most effective way to simultaneously mentor the New Hams and to gain their respect is to praise in public and correct in private, NOT on the local repeater during the afternoon “crush”.

The ‘Wise Ham’ is willing, even anxious, to share his knowledge and skills. He stops and says hello to all of the ‘New Hams’ he encounters, and occasionally sends out a QSL card to the new guy, even if it’s just a local repeater QSO. He can carefully “suggest” to the New Ham some change in his operations or technique that won’t burn the New Ham’s ego with a blow torch and makes Billy come out looking like he’s been “at it” for decades.

AND THE MORAL OF THE STORY IS…

It’s a lot easier to help a New Ham become a Wise Ham when you try to be more like an Elmer and less like a Dick.

(With sincere apologies to all of those Wise Hams whose first name is ‘Richard’ and go by the nick-name)

 

Thanks again to Steven K4YZ for permission to share this.